the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize