I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
He came on my face and told me I looked like a gingerbread house.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
Randomize
