i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize