I feel miserable, can't drink that much when I go out
We've been saying that since '98
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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