does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Randomize
