You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
It's like....nice talking about real estate but your son gave me herpes
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
