Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Drinking with birthday clown in the backyard shed at a 5 year olds birthday party at 12 in the afternoon. My life doesn't need any adjustments
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
Whoops. I'm a horrible gf, I dropped the "I'm looking for jobs in a different city" bomb before I wished him a happy anniversary
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
I need a costume
Dude just wear a bra or something hahaha
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Randomize
