im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
