If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Lucky bitch I'm at work covered in Jeff pee. And my hair smells like beer because I was trying to prove a point about PBR serving multiple purposes.
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