I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I think I just found my soul mate...he's wearing a zebra striped onesie and is into Michael Jackson...I'll explain in the morning.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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