i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
I am at 2.05 miles in under 11 minutes. So either this thing is broke or I should always work out wasted.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
I'm going to a one year olds birthday party to smoke weed. What has my life become.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
