Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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