I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Man in California was arrested for killing and eating a wild bobcat while high on crystal meth. Let's please NEVER get that high on anything...
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
