In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
this beer tastes like vomit already
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Randomize
