Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Hey when I die alone will you come by often enough so that my cats don’t eat my face?
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
I've started making all these amazing things...like bananas rolled in doritos..bandritos.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
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