Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
According to my dad, my tongue ring makes people assume I give a lot of blow jobs because, as stated by him "that's what it's for"
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize
