they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
home. puking in laundry basket.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Pants are for mortals
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
