shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
My parents just checked my browsing history and now think I'm addicted to porn and am a necrophiliac. 1: I know it was you. 2: You're so dumped, that shit is sick.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
Just woke up and spent the first hour of consciousness throwing up with the Rocky theme song on repeat.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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