At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
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