What do you think that old couple was thinking when they saw me puking in the QT parking lot at ten in the morning?
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
It's that "make a Pringle and Twinkie sandwich" kind of depression.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
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