So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
Randomize
