she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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