I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
it's like heaven, but drunker
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Randomize
