I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
Randomize
