I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just got blown whilst getting my high score on bejeweled blitz. There's still a month and a half left of summer and my bucket list is empty...
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
Maybe I’ll just go to the party as myself
What, a homewrecker?
Touché
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