worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
Wait... where the hell did you even find a live OCTOPUS, let alone green eggs and ham?
Randomize
