Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I was so hungover that I had to stop in the middle of the game and throw up. The fans cheered.
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Randomize
