I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
i just watched a 27 minute video about owls...that high.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
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