Already got asked if we're dating
Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
My room smells like vodka and shame
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
they are cutting me off...little do they know I am making a 75 yr old man i named Herbert buy me drinks now...no shame at 11 am...
Randomize
