white trash or talent: driving, 1 hand on the wheel, 1 holding a cell phone & talking & smoking without using hands..in an old beater pickup..
Both
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Is 'too horny to study' a good enough medical excuse to not take a final?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
So how do I tell him I've been sleeping with his wife too?
Randomize
