Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
So much Jack, so little girl.
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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