I am spending my child support on dildos
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
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