Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Now we just need to figure out why your underwear was in your bra
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
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