if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
You were up on table in a neon bra chanting "YOUR MOM" while drizzling vodka on your chest...
no wonder i woke up with my boobs stuck to my bra
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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