ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
The first guy I ever sexted is having a baby.. Is this what adulthood feels like?
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
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