Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
Side note: THE ORIGINAL LION KING IS COMING THE MOVIES AGAIN--3D STYLE. We need to find shrooms.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I'm just gonna ride this ego train to sex town
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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