Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
it was like his penis was on wheels.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
We raised our shot glasses and you screamed out "TO MY DAD FINALLY GOING TO REHAB!"
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
How is it that I've hooked up with not one but two guys in the children's section of a bookstore tonight?
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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