also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
my boyfriend just said he'd go down on me if I gave him my password to facebook
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
I don’t care that he’s a decade younger. He’s cute and I need a good penising
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