After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
We had to leave after he was in the middle of the street yelling "Balls of Steeeeeeeeel!!"
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
what the fuck happened to the tacos
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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