but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
You picked me up and threw me on a barstool and shoved shots in front of me.
Thats like the definition of a good friend
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
Randomize
