What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
