Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
Oh god it's open bar.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
