remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
Someone left me hummas on my door step between the hours of 1am-3am
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
