Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
he fucked my hip out of place.
just 'accidentally' changed my relationship status to 'in an open relationship' just to see what offers I might get if I were to dump him. it's not looking good
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Apparently, I showed up wrapped in caution tape and immediately jumped on the stripper pole and started making very sexual gestures at the birthday girl. We lasted ten minutes.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I just smoked a joint and ate a sandwich while watching someone get arrested. Bonnaroo is a silly place.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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