I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
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