rhymes with "ouble enetration"
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
dude, seriously he just sucked the milk out of the dogs breast and swallowed it... for $20, wtf....?
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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