if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
I'm fucked-out. That state of being high between fucked up and passed out.
Randomize
