hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
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