Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
