wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
I'm gonna watch porn and nap. I think I really have this Valentine's Day thing down
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
