I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
I'm hungover as fuck. My vagina hurts. I locked my keys in my car. It's about 93* outside. We're having sex in the pool when I get home
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
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