i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
fuck yea just found my unicorn costume from when i was 8... still fits
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
