kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
He rolled up to the party in an ice cream truck. He was definitely my first priority
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
