in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
