I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
When I see myself in tank tops and push up bras I seriously wonder why I'm not President.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
