does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
His dick's name has evolved from Sebastian to Big Daddy to Barbara Streisand to Barbara Walters. I think the transformation is finally complete.
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
You microwaved all of my silverware, I don't care if you spent all your money on tequila, you're paying for this.
Randomize