Just got yelled at by a priest...again.
tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
So can we just skip dinner and I'll just pay you for a blowjob?
Don't tempt me, I need beer money.
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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