She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
My dad just said "fuck circus"
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Omg I just woke up in his bed.. I'm fully clothed and he is naked. I'm so confused.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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