At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
This girl came outta nowhere yelling HOLD MY DICKKKKKK!
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
The next time you scream bombs away when you are inside me will be the last time you are inside me
You said too many real things and now I need to crawl back inside my protective fort of sarcasm, being an asshole, and sass
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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