Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
