Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
It was confusing and full of hummus
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
Randomize
